🔗 Share this article

“Well, the situation is pretty dire here. We’re advising all of our clients to put everything they’ve got into canned food and shotguns.” This nugget of shrewd guidance comes from the Brain Gremlin – a scientifically altered, speaking, glasses-wearing member of the slimy Gremlin horde that overruns Manhattan’s high-tech Clamp Tower skyscraper in director Joe Dante’s madcap sequel Gremlins 2: The New Batch. At first glance, it’s simply an financial suggestion from one monster to another. However, in a strange manner, it’s also remarkably sound life advice. Seriously, hear me out.

When things go bad, the most counterproductive action you can do is take things too seriously. The Brain Gremlin understands this. Indeed, a large portion of the toothy monsters that inhabit Dante’s wild 1990 film (arguably his best) possess the same sly, self-aware funny bone regarding the blurry line separating daily routine and absolute bedlam. It’s one element of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that maintains my loyalty – and as I age, it’s the underlying idea that resonates the most.

An Early Life Fascination

Naturally, my connection with this movie did not begin on such an philosophical plane. As a child, we were limited to a few battered VHS tapes at home. Part of that group were Gremlins and its follow-up, the latter housed in a bulky previously-rented case almost certainly acquired from an off-brand video shop and featuring grimacing beasts on its tattered front. I was immediately enamoured and these films did not delay lodging themselves inside my tiny, impressionable mind. After that point, they became an practically routine part of my youthful watching schedule.

Dante’s original commonly garners all the praise, thanks primarily due to its reputation as a moderately spooky festive favorite – and to be fair, I’ve watched Gremlins more times than I can count. That said, its successor infrequently obtains the same level of lofty appreciation, which feels a travesty. As a kid, I’d always seize the chance to watch Gremlins 2. During sunny school summer breaks, I’d retreat into the house and play it. When I acquired my personal TV-VHS combo unit, it stayed in constant rotation in my bedroom. Over time, it ingrained itself in my psyche. If my parents observed this fixation, they didn’t seem to mind.

Deeper Rewards and Cultural References

As I matured, new insights enhanced repeat viewings, heightening the enjoyment of watching small emerald creatures gleefully trash a New York high-rise. I learned the forward-thinking real estate tycoon and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was based squarely upon future president Donald Trump, with his red-headed employee Marla (Haviland Morris) echoing his second wife Marla Maples. Fortunately, Clamp has more heart than his actual-world equivalent.

The “apocalyptic” video Clamp plays during maximum monster mayhem? I discovered it was inspired by a real-life “Doomsday” video produced by the CNN boss Ted Turner should the world actually met its demise. I noticed how Dante took extra pains to film varying versions of a self-aware scene where Gremlins take over the actual feature in progress. A version for theaters, one for VHS and TV, each delivering a smirking slice of self-referential entertainment sorcery prior to the concept being mainstream.

A Persistent Legacy

While it was creature designer Rick Baker’s fantastically vile creatures that caught my eye as a child, this hidden treasure maintained my fascination as an adult. In time, I even conversed with Dante about it myself and he had no hesitation revealing to me he made the movie with the express purpose of poking fun at those who loved its absurd-yet-genuine predecessor and desired a sequel. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he gleefully confessed. This cartoonish insubordination and determination to not take his sequel as gravely as his Warner Bros bosses clearly wanted him to, only made me love it even more.

When I went through a abrupt familial death earlier this year, I was surprised to find that, during my most profound sorrow, all I desired to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Strange, isn’t it? Possibly not. The soothing reminiscence it offered was essential to thin out my mind’s grief morass – but the perspectives it had given me as an adult were similarly beneficial.

Like Gremlins rampaging through a genetics laboratory, there’s some things in life you just can’t control. Dante knows it. The Brain Gremlin shares this wisdom. Sometimes, you have to follow their example: accept the turmoil, commit your entire being into canned food and shotguns and try not to take things too seriously.

It’s strong life advice from a very unlikely source – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will always be my go-to cinematic solace.